Sunday, May 22, 2011

Things I do when Husband is away.......

Husband is away all week again, experience has shown that once the wee ones are in bed the first night always goes like this;

Consume a, maybe two, or a few, perhaps a random number of oversized bowls of icecream for dessert ( "Dessert"?? pfft oh who am I kidding I didn’t even have "dinner", I’m using this ‘away’ time as a total intense diet weight loss regime) Break out the old bottle of topping that’s kept at the back of the fridge. Revel in the satisfying crunch noise as the crust around the lid breaks when I open it, slightly disappointing that we only have banana flavour – but hey who can afford actual bananas for smoothies these days (Smoothies, ha, sure).

Lie spread eagled on the couch waiting for that sick feeling to go away, can’t move, ice cream must digest.

Buy multiple items online – it seems ok when he’s in another state, he can’t stop me and I can claim loneliness as the reason behind my binge buying. He’ll eventually love what I buy anyway – it’s how we ended up with the set of owl shaped salt and pepper shakers with optional squirrel toothpick holder that he claims he adores (I was having a total ‘forest animals’ moment.)

Queue inordinate amounts of ‘Lady TV’ on the multimedia player. You know what I mean, Husband doesn’t get a kick out of tasteful documentaries on human culture or intellectual thought provoking reality driven product. That’s why I’ve got a weeks worth of the staples covered; America’s next Top Model, Tabatha’s Salon Takeover, The Real Housewives of somewhere, Jersey Shore and Teen Mom (don’t judge me).

Cook whole bag of oven chips, sugar high worn off, will desperately need some salt, with a side of tomato sauce.

Lie spread eagled on the couch waiting for sick feeling to go away, can’t move, chips must digest.

Decide it’s an awesome idea to stay up until 3am – I can sleep on the couch whilst the wee ones watch Series 1, 2 & 3 of Peppa Pig in the morning (Mental note to self; remember to change settings on multimedia player, Wee ones still not completely over seeing Jersey Shore Series 02 – they can’t understand why Sam wont accept that her and Ronnie were on a break, it’s too much for them)

Ah it’s a lonely game being the wife of a man who works for a company that thinks it’s cheaper to send people away for a week of training rather than pay the trainer to come here…..

Chin chin - down the hatch with a banana 'smoothie'.