Some of you may have heard or read me banging on about some personality tests I completed recently. I find this sort of thing strangely comforting and alarming at the same time. I get a warm little buzz in my innards when I can see that I fit neatly into a personality type and somehow those little cards were written just about me. But then I look at some of the other cards and get a sharp pang of wanting – I want to be artistic, not driven by timelines, able to quickly adapt to an ever changing environment and wear maxi dresses without feeling self-conscious (nothing to do with personality types, I just have a maxi dress ‘thing’) – but it’s just not me.
In my ‘things that will upset you’ section of my personality type is ‘spontaneity’. I scoffed when I saw it at first, hey I’m as spontaneous as the next person who has time to plan it…. I’m totally up for something random and completely out of order that makes no sense and probably is irresponsible
(gasp gasp someone pass me a brown paper bag, for the love of order……)
Oh god it’s true, I don’t have a spontaneous bone in my body. I can’t do last minute, I just can’t.
As with any of lifes questions I feel this can be explained through a make-up example (what?). The other week my lovely Avon lady (Betsy Avon) and I were flicking through the pages of a catalogue, the dewy faced photo shopped models got me all inspired and I said to Betsy ‘I’m going to go crazy and get some different eye shadow’ checked out all the combos and got the one that seemed the most different, something totally random and new
What I have now
Next to what I bought
What the …….
It seems even in my spontaneous moments my brain can’t help but bring me back into check. Because it remembers…..
It remembers the ‘hey it’s lunch time why don’t I just drop into a hairdressers and get a super awesome haircut’ day. It remembers the feeling of walking around wondering why people were staring with horror at my Partridge family fringe bob/backwards mullet. It really did seem cool in front of the hairdressers mirror with all the other backwards mullets around – but on its own it just couldn’t take the pressure.
It remembers the spontaneous purchasing of multiple bottles of red wine one night and the ensuing emotional gabfest with sober husband which resulted in huge plans to sell the house and roam the east coast of Australia in a combi van – the next day all emails sent to real estate agents at 11.30pm were quickly recalled, husband and I agreed it wasn’t such a grand plan after all. Combi van, I mean really – we all know it would have to be at least a Winnebago and yes it still disturbs me to know that Husband was sober throughout the grand planning.
It remembers (and so does Husband) the thousands of dollars spent on various ‘current fashion’ items that were perhaps slightly outside my standard ‘Stepford Wives’ style – the poncho, cork wedges, mutli coloured bolero jackets, cowl neck jumpers, ra ra skirts (not again….), fish net stockings, military style jackets, a million maxi dresses and let us not forget the resurgence of the leg warmer – all these things very awesome to look at, not so practical and no way on gods green earth did I wear a single one of them (oh except for the poncho…. And that really was a faux pax on my part….)
It seems I’m hard wired to be responsible and practical. No hope for me to be the artisan that I desperately want to be, I simply have to pay bills on time and return phone calls and RSVP within the given timeframe and throw food out that’s past it’s use by date and water my plants (actually that one is not true) and remember peoples birthdays and vote on the right day and buy age appropriate presents and eat tea at the same time each night……..
Just this once I’m going to be spontaneous and stop.
The End.
Yep, still here. See you guys later and thanks for reading.
Bye.
