One thing I am becoming abundantly aware of though, is how through his set of my eyes he sees the world very differently.
He's a beautiful boy shaped enigma to me, he must get sick of seeing my raised eyebrows and gaping mouth as I bear witness to his unusual boy activities.
Here are 5 things I don't think I would have been aware of if I didn't have my own boy mystery package;
1) At 5 his logical thinking has developed but is applied sporadically. When 'GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!' is met with 'But you didn't say please' my anger and pride collide. So glad the manners thing is sinking in, but for the love of tea leaves why doesn't this logic extend to this simple equation;
punch sister = time on your own in your room.
Use it for good son, use it for good not evil.
2) Dobbing is like breathing for kids, it just comes naturally. If I had five cents for every time I heard him say 'Muuuum she hit me', 'Muuuum she's sitting right in front of the TV', 'Muuuum she's in my room' or 'Muuuum she's eating bottom cream again' then I would have approximately $1.75 or more
3) To a five year old boy it really does matter if someone else puts the toothpaste on your toothbrush, like 'end of the world hysterical red alert screaming' matters. Someone saying 'does it really matter?' only makes it matter more
4) I knew men had an obsession with their special appendage but I had no idea it started so soon. It really isn't going to fall off, seriously don't touch it every 5 minutes, it will be still there if you leave it be. Although if you keep pulling at it the way you do it might just fall off (or you could join Puppetry of the Penis..??!).
5) You couldn't dress yourself to save your life. Thank you for enabling me to understand your fathers inability to dress either of you well. It appears the urge to mix different stripes, or wear completely mismatching clothes is innate in all men, I understand this now. If you ever manage to get yourself out of your pyjamas feel at peace with the fact that I've already laid your clothes out for you and will do so until you find a stylish partner.
Finally, something profound for you to remember in life my little boy wonder;
Unfortunately the box seat doesn't always afford you the best view, someone cuter and smarter will always try to position themselves in front of you (meaningful on so many levels....)
Bless your cotton socks boy one, will love you for as long as I breathe and probably after that too!
(can't believe I said 'penis' in my blog....)
