Dear Tradie Man,
I’m a fan of feedback, as long as it’s constructive. I’ve
always thought a pat on the back is worth 2 in the bush (yeah that’s never made
sense to me either), so it’s with the utmost respect that I would like to share
my thoughts about the work we have had done with you, I would like to make this a positive
experience for the both of us.
Our heating/Air conditioning Bills are grateful for the fact
you painted the windows shut, thank you.
I’ve always said that fresh air possibly carries germs and contagions,
the less of it we have in our house the happier I am. If we could paint the doors shut you know we
would.
Which is why I am a little confused about the gaping holes
at the base of the skirting board – the draught coming through there could
quite seriously power a windmill farm, is this a new movement in aerating
homes? Because I think I’ve already
mentioned my delight in not having virus ridden fresh air in the house.
After being on all fours investigating the source of the ankle
chilling breeze I discovered your time saving technique of not removing all the
carpet tacks from the edges of the floor boards, I marvelled at your efficient
savvy ways as I inspected the pulsating bright red wounds in the palms of my
hands. Although working through the
incredible pain I did notice that perhaps you hadn’t used the gloss paint we’d
discussed on the walls because the handprint of blood, from where I leant
against the wall biting my lip and trying hard to not blaspheme in front of the
children (they go to Catholic school you know), was seeping into the paintwork
in a caveman artwork kind of manner, is this normal?
It was interesting watching blood bleed through paintwork, I
was fascinated and spent quite a time watching it’s beauty until my husband
pushed my head to the base of the skirting board so I could breathe in fresh
(bacteria ridden) air because I’d been inhaling the varnish fumes for too
long. Varnish? I hear you ask. Yes varnish, I had to think hard about
whether the bees wax environmentally friendly wood finish for the
aforementioned skirting boards would actually smell like varnish. I imagined perhaps it’s some kind of marketing ploy –
smells like varnish, but is actually dolphin safe….. No.
Look I understand you have many clients and a lot of jobs
you’re thinking about instead of mine, I know this because you left your
appointment book behind (could it have been because of the confusion inducing
(non) varnish fumes) but I am left to ponder how so very little of what we
discussed managed to make it to the final product. I am quite sure that if I did my job at the same
percentage of agreed output vs result, I could very well be out of a job.
I don’t wish to end this on a sour note, I really do appreciate
your efforts in working only when we’re out of the house, very convenient,
thank you. Can we please have our key
back now?
Kindest regards………
