Holidays schmolidays – this stay at home caper is way harder
than going to work – hats off to all my SAHM friends, you either have the
patience of a saint or are on some pretty heavy shit. I also know there are
heaps of Mums that just love having their school aged kids home 24/7 and get
disappointed when they go back.
I’ve discovered I’m not one of them.
Seriously after the first week and a half I was a wreck and clinging with a weak grip to
Husbands leg as he departed for work each morning. Pfftt hahahaha as if I was out of bed at that
time….. But I would ring later and cry down the phone ‘don’t leave me alone with
them *sob sob*’
I’m really bad at taking them to fun places on my own, I get
all anxious and worried I’ll lose one or worse still, end up with an extra one
by accident. We’ve done the occasional
play date and had people around, but for the most part we’ve hung out at home
and played whilst I procrastinate about any kind of cleaning or tidying.
I do struggle though to play lego for more than 5 minutes
(especially when Charlie’s definition of ‘playing’ is me watching him make
stuff and handing him pieces that he needs) and if I have to stay in Lucy’s
room for more than 30 seconds I start cleaning out her clothes and considering
what new dresses she might need and *bang* I’m online buying shit again.
And the Bickering, oh the bickering. I don’t know what the ear equivalent to scratching
one’s own eyes out might be, but I’ve considered poking skewers in to burst my
eardrums or putting bicarb soda and then vinegar in there so I can listen to
the soothing fizzzzzzzzzzz INSTEAD of hearing;
‘AARRRGGGHHHHHH GIVE IT BACK’
Or
‘Muuuuum Lucy/Charlie just hit/scratched/punched/ro sham bo’d
me….’
Oh heavenly wine, why is it wrong to drink copious amounts
of you when in charge of minors, and/or before 10am?
There have been quite a few days that we haven’t bothered to
get out of our jammies, of course these are the days my missing Christmas
parcels turn up. Apparently a 6 year old
can’t sign for them and your arm out the door wont suffice, the post man has to
see your unmade-up face and hairy bare legs so he can have his giggle for the
day.
There is one thing I wouldn’t change at all though – we all
eat dinner together at 6pm after Husband gets home from work. Charlie has taken a shine to cooking and I’m
in the process of teaching him how to do it neatly with minimal mess. We’re
working our way through Jamie Oliver’s 15 minute meals – determining which ones
to keep and use during the year. Chicken
Livers have made it to the no list. It’s
been fun although I am regretting making the Caesar dressing in my shake maker…..
protein shakes are hard enough to get down without tasting like anchovy….
Also, Lucy and I love watching the Bold and the Beautiful
catch up at 8.30am. We were both shocked that Bill got Deacon out of jail, our
jaws dropped. We do think Brooke has overreacted,
the glassy eyed hysteria was a little over the top. Hope needs to stop being a martyr, oh and it
seems like Stephanie has been at the Drs office for a couple of days waiting
for her diagnosis, I hope she’s not being charged by the hour…. Each
day we’re both a little disappointed that half an hours viewing has progressed
the storyline by 5 minutes but we can’t wait for the next ep!
I have had some overreactions of my own in recent days, like
demanding the children don’t talk to each other and going ‘Pssht’ every time
they do. Realising that you’re chasing
children around the house going ‘Pshht’ ‘Pshhht’ every time they open their
mouths makes you reassess your ability to parent at all. Some alone time may be in order.
Banning the television was another overreaction – once the
words came out of my mouth I wished I could stuff them back in…. What the fuck
was I think. Television is my respite –
take that sucker away and who do you think has to entertain them or listen to
my favourite endless refrain of ‘I’m boooooooored, I’m huuuuuuungry,
Muuuuuuuuuummmmm, where are youuuuuuuuu’
(hiding under my bed – where do you think?)
I’m so looking forward to the school book and uniform
shopping – I especially can’t wait for school shoe fitting day…….. (that was
sarcasm)
Ugh I have to go, I have a hysterically crying four year old
who thinks the world is an unfair place because I’ve asked her to put the lid
back on her 24 textas and stop drawing on herself.
I feel sanity is
becoming a distant acquaintance and patience is just somebody I used to know……
Happy Holidays!
