Holler-days

Holidays schmolidays – this stay at home caper is way harder than going to work – hats off to all my SAHM friends, you either have the patience of a saint or are on some pretty heavy shit. I also know there are heaps of Mums that just love having their school aged kids home 24/7 and get disappointed when they go back. 

I’ve discovered I’m not one of them.

Seriously after the first week and a half  I was a wreck and clinging with a weak grip to Husbands leg as he departed for work each morning.  Pfftt hahahaha as if I was out of bed at that time….. But I would ring later and cry down the phone ‘don’t leave me alone with them *sob sob*’

I’m really bad at taking them to fun places on my own, I get all anxious and worried I’ll lose one or worse still, end up with an extra one by accident.  We’ve done the occasional play date and had people around, but for the most part we’ve hung out at home and played whilst I procrastinate about any kind of cleaning or tidying.

I do struggle though to play lego for more than 5 minutes (especially when Charlie’s definition of ‘playing’ is me watching him make stuff and handing him pieces that he needs) and if I have to stay in Lucy’s room for more than 30 seconds I start cleaning out her clothes and considering what new dresses she might need and *bang* I’m online buying shit again.

And the Bickering, oh the bickering.  I don’t know what the ear equivalent to scratching one’s own eyes out might be, but I’ve considered poking skewers in to burst my eardrums or putting bicarb soda and then vinegar in there so I can listen to the soothing fizzzzzzzzzzz INSTEAD of hearing;

‘AARRRGGGHHHHHH GIVE IT BACK’

Or

‘Muuuuum Lucy/Charlie just hit/scratched/punched/ro sham bo’d me….’

Oh heavenly wine, why is it wrong to drink copious amounts of you when in charge of minors, and/or before 10am?

There have been quite a few days that we haven’t bothered to get out of our jammies, of course these are the days my missing Christmas parcels turn up.  Apparently a 6 year old can’t sign for them and your arm out the door wont suffice, the post man has to see your unmade-up face and hairy bare legs so he can have his giggle for the day.

There is one thing I wouldn’t change at all though – we all eat dinner together at 6pm after Husband gets home from work.  Charlie has taken a shine to cooking and I’m in the process of teaching him how to do it neatly with minimal mess. We’re working our way through Jamie Oliver’s 15 minute meals – determining which ones to keep and use during the year.  Chicken Livers have made it to the no list.  It’s been fun although I am regretting making the Caesar dressing in my shake maker….. protein shakes are hard enough to get down without tasting like anchovy….

Also, Lucy and I love watching the Bold and the Beautiful catch up at 8.30am. We were both shocked that Bill got Deacon out of jail, our jaws dropped.  We do think Brooke has overreacted, the glassy eyed hysteria was a little over the top.  Hope needs to stop being a martyr, oh and it seems like Stephanie has been at the Drs office for a couple of days waiting for her diagnosis, I hope she’s not being charged by the hour….   Each day we’re both a little disappointed that half an hours viewing has progressed the storyline by 5 minutes but we can’t wait for the next ep!

I have had some overreactions of my own in recent days, like demanding the children don’t talk to each other and going ‘Pssht’ every time they do.  Realising that you’re chasing children around the house going ‘Pshht’ ‘Pshhht’ every time they open their mouths makes you reassess your ability to parent at all.  Some alone time may be in order.

Banning the television was another overreaction – once the words came out of my mouth I wished I could stuff them back in…. What the fuck was I think.  Television is my respite – take that sucker away and who do you think has to entertain them or listen to my favourite endless refrain of ‘I’m boooooooored, I’m huuuuuuungry, Muuuuuuuuuummmmm, where are youuuuuuuuu’  (hiding under my bed – where do you think?)

I’m so looking forward to the school book and uniform shopping – I especially can’t wait for school shoe fitting day…….. (that was sarcasm)

Ugh I have to go, I have a hysterically crying four year old who thinks the world is an unfair place because I’ve asked her to put the lid back on her 24 textas and stop drawing on herself.

 I feel sanity is becoming a distant acquaintance and patience is just somebody I used to know……

Happy Holidays!