Supermarket Stories Part I

One from the Vault – and oldie that some of you may have seen before.

How do your kids behave at the supermarket? I'm scratching my head about my wee one - I think he's got dissociative identity disorder or something - his multiple personalities come out when we're shopping - maybe it's the fluro lighting and all the pretty packaging or something

I normally like to shop with Husband so one of us can deal with crazy boy and the other can shop but this time I had to go by myself because Husband has been working late and we haven't been able to go and there's only so many days in a row that you can palm salada's off as being a nutritious lunch......

So we get there – the wee one wont get into the trolley seat - no biggie - I just whip out the biscuit from my front pocket and give it to him (high five super Mothering moment!)

We wheel around, I'm careful not to leave him too close to the vegies, he normally pulls them off the shelf - he's being good so I give him the cucumber to hold.

Wheel around some more, he puts the cucumber in someone else’s trolley...... and I realise it's had a few bites taken out of it..... I don't know what to do about it...... I look at their trolley..... look at the wee one..... they didn't notice so I think if I put my hand in their trolley they are going to think I'm strange..... so I leave it there and we move quickly away.....

Then the wee one thinks it's fun to squeal at the top of his lungs in short sharp bursts...... alot..... after I wipe the blood from my ears I hand him another biccie from my back pocket - that keeps him quiet for a while

Then he decides to reach backwards and grab what he can from the trolley and just drop it on the floor... oh man - so annoying! I move all the stuff to the front of the trolley so he can't reach it and he fuh-lips out - big time - trying to stand up (I got the trolley without a restraint..... didn't think it would matter..... so so so so wrong)

So he's trying to stand up, I'm trying to grab the can of dog food that is rolling away and the squealing starts again

seriously I felt like such a loser tool mother it was ridiculous - and I had run out of biscuits

I thought fuck this lets just pay for what we have and get out of here - 30 people lined up and only 2 check out chicks - I go for the shorter line and this piece of work woman practically runs to cut me off from the other direction - I glare, she ignores and then the wee starts squealing some more, not really bothering me now, but really bothering her.

We get through the check out and I go to the escalator to go upstairs to the car park and wouldn't you know it I have a trolley with broken brakes - I had to hold it the whole way up with the wee one on my hip - I wasn't sure we were going to make it (How did she die? squashed by her own groceries after being rolled over by a shopping trolley.....)

Shopping used to be so easy - now it's such a monumental pain in the arse!



oh and I forgot to get a replacement cucumber.....