Oh no you didn’t (dih ent?). No you did not send your kid to school with nits, do you know what that means for me? It means hours and hours of arguing and wrestling and consoling and soothing and cajoling as I attempt to get close enough to look through my son’s hair.
If I didn’t know better I would be sure that the eldest wee one had some kind of Rainman thing going on with his head. Don’t touch the head, especially without permission. More importantly, you DO NOT mess with the hair.
It’s hard enough just washing his hair with normal shampoo, through the hysterical squealing he will beg me to not cleanse it. We’ll do it tomorrow he promises. Tomorrow never comes – there’s always an excuse, unfortunately for him someone has to lay down the law and wash the playground out of that mop, it sure as hell isn’t ever Husband either. I really thought the shampoo Mohawk could calm the angriest of beasts, but not this one; it’s just not funny to him.
What am I going to do if I have to comb it all with one of those midget combs? I’m going to have to sedate him or wrap him tightly in a few towels with his head poking out the top, like you do when you want to clip a cats nails
So thank you foolish non attentive parent, I hope you can hear the ruckus tomorrow morning as I spray a fine mist of lacquer over my screaming childs head, I hope you look around and see how many kids are rubbing at their eyes because their crazed bug paranoid parents have massaged eucalyptus into their scalps........
Oh god I have to go, my head is itching like a bastard.
Oh no! I am dreading this. F has the same issues with her hair being washed - add to that the fact that I'd have to comb through her long hair - nope, it's going to be the stuff of nightmares.
ReplyDeleteI saw an ad the other day for stuff to spray in the hair as a deterrent and I am seriously considering stocking up on the stuff!
It is a regular problem at our daycare. I opted to join the Nit Squad, a crack group of parental nit removers, called in whenever a major outbreak occurs.
ReplyDeleteThough as you rightly pointed out, the real problem is not the nits. It is the hosts.
Spew. I can't even think about it.
ReplyDelete