Multi tasking is sometimes not the friend you want it to be.

As a woman, I multi task. It’s in my nature, I can be doing one thing whilst watching something else. I can talk and complete two or three tasks at the same time. I often delegate my multi tasked tasks back to myself I am THAT impressive.

I am woman hear me jot down a list.

It’s not really something women spend alot of time bragging about though. Do lions brag about chasing down and killing a zebra, do musicians brag about the song they’ve just thought up in their head (actually I think they probably would, I would!), do liberals brag about always having to pig headedly take the opposing point of view to anything remotely socially progressive ? No, because it’s all part of their nature, it’s just the way it is.

I have sometimes had thoughts of sharing my multi tasking wins, but I would take no satisfaction in making my few male readers feel alienated and disoriented by the revelation that it really is possible to bathe a child whilst cleaning the bathroom sink, folding the towels from the dryer, removing the children’s toothbrush that is firmly wedged in the sink hole all whilst talking with my mother on the phone , planning the dinner and washing said childs hair.

It’s easy to scoff at the idea of planning dinner, but dinner is the biggest multi task of all. Especially when you have one child who wants all food to remain separate on the plate, nothing touching and positively absolutely nothing yellow on there. Whilst the other only wishes to eat butter. At room temperature no less.

I hear you, oh here we go this is all about women running a house, isn’t it, Germaine Greer would be rolling over in her expensive duck feather filled duvet..... hhmmmm yes, However naysayers, I did multi task before I had children. I recall nights where I would be putting liquid eyeliner on with one hand and mixing a vodka cranberry with the other. Of course in my day mobile phones were not that huge (well actually they were ginormous, but you know what I mean), I imagine the young women of today could do all of the above whilst tweeting about Gaga’s meat dress (did that make me sound old?)

No one is going to say it for me so I am just going to quietly mention it.

I am a multi tasking god

If there was an award out there for the person that gets the most stuff done in the most efficient way with the least amount of tears from others and themselves THEN I WOULD BLOODY WELL WIN THAT AWARD/CROWN/BRONZED TIMER!

However, on that note I must confess. I had a huge multi task fail the other day. I feel I have to share it, for the good of mankind you see....

I would like to make it known that putting your socks on whilst doing a wee just doesn’t work. The laws of physics or engineering, perhaps even gravity prevent it from being successful (sorry about the visual you have right now).


To the multi taskers amongst us, I salute you. It’s a ne’er spoken of skill and a rarely commended one. Print yourselves off a certificate, you deserve it!

I know there’s more jokes in here about men and multi tasking. I have visions of my husband juggling a baby with a full nappy, smoke coming out of the oven and a ringing phone all whilst he maintains a look of panic and confusion. But I wont go there, there’s no good in plainly point out ones down falls...... too easy.